Cleo

Back in the summer of 1998 I made the decision to finally pursue the path  which my heart had been trying to lead me most of my life.... That fall, I went back to college and began the most incredible journey of obtaining a degree in Veterinay Technology. One of the first souls I encountered there was Cleo, a little black labrador pup who lived at school with her brother Max and sister Sadie. The first couple of months were so busy, and very nearly overwhelming so I didn't really have much extra time to spend with them beyond the daily care we provided. By the beginning of 1999, they were all adopted out into forever homes and, while I thought about them from time to time, there were other animals at school that demanded my time. Plus, I had a German Shepherd  dog (**) and a labrador at home, and a marriage that was hanging on by a thread....

**side note- I actually had 2 German Shepherds, but I had loaned one to my mom and dad to help make their house a little less empty after losing their GSD, and I never got her back....**

Over the next year or so, there was word around school that Cleo was giving her new owner terrible fits. Apparently she had a little issue with separation anxiety and her owner was not taking the advice being offered to help her overcome it. For example, her owner refused to accept that crating her or limiting her access to areas of the house when she was alone might be beneficial.... (translation: he was an idiot). So, in the late winter months towards the end of 1999, there was a time that she was left alone, with full run of the house and she decided to chew up the waterbed..... Use your imagination.... And Cleo was surrendered back to the school.

My little labrador, Shadow, died unexpectedly on New Year's Day 1999. She was, without a doubt, one of the best dogs ever and I figured that she would be the one and only Labrador I would ever have. Later that year, Cleo had returned to school and I had been hired by the school to take care of the animals on the weekends. I often spent a good part of my Saturdays and Sundays hanging around with the kennel animals..... I got to know Cleo pretty well during those days, but it never occurred to me to adopt her... I was, after all, a German Shepherd person....

One weekend, my soon to be ex husband stopped in to talk to me while I was cleaning the kennels and he met Cleo for the first time. He decided that day that she was coming home with us. I have to admit, I wasn't overly enthusiastic.... I still missed Shadow and didn't think I was ready for another dog that looked so much like her. Also, I knew about her separation anxiety, and wasn't sure I was ready to deal with that.... All of that aside, Cleo came home to live with us and so began a very interesting adventure.....

I could tick off the items that she destroyed over the years as a result of the anxiety, but we'll just leave that to your imagination too.... I could list all the edible and inedible things she ate over the years, as she truly seemed to be a stomach with legs...... The scrub tops that she chewed thru the pockets because there was still a micron of a treat left behind....... All the tennis balls she chased until her tongue was dragging the grass.....Sticking her face in the snow trying to find snowballs that she missed.....Always eating her food at the speed of light.......
I could try to count the number of tears her fur absorbed while I came to terms with the end of my marriage........and the fact that my brother was going to die...... and removing my mother from life support....
The reassuring presence of her head under my hand whenever I felt too alone in this world.......

And in the end, struggling to get up but still wagging her tail.....

At 15 years of age, Cleo went to the Rainbow Bridge on December 29, 2013, taking a huge chunk of my heart with her. I know she'll keep it safe until we meet again.....






From the Dark Side, hung in black........

Listening to "Into the West" Annie Lennox

 

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journeys end

Sleep now and dream
Of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea a pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time

Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
and you'll be here in my arms
just sleeping

What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea a pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn to silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass into the west

~Frances Rosemary Walsh, Annie Lennox, Howrd Shore